Yesterday was CRAZY! After some restless sleep and worry I headed to Masters swim practice. It was OK at best. I managed to stay in for both practices and worked on form. Chuckie was in his own lane, while I dealt with the masses. One thing's for sure: I still have a lot of work to do. (Today we worked on form and I kept the 1hour swimming MELLOW).
Later, Chuckie and I headed out on our bikes to Masonville and back. The plan was to get in 2hours at a high-end aerobic zone. I did this fine - although my power output is still significantly lower than what it was in California. (I hope this turns around!) We stopped to get some water and the clouds began churning and turning black. I was a bit in my own world and didn't realize that thunderstorms were ahead.
These were Chuckie's words: "I'll take us down this hill and then we'll start rolling again."
"OK," I thought. I am tired but I can do it.
"Rolling" usually means the same high-end aerobic HR and relatively evenly paced. We headed down the hill as planned. But once we got to a flatter area Chuckie starting rolling. Not my type of rolling - but rather his type. His type is what anyone else would call "oh, no!" I let him go because my HR was already jacked up and my legs were dead. In the distance, he kept pointing at his back wheel and I was getting frustrated.
"Whatever, I am going hard and feel like crap." I was trying to chase him for a solid 20-minutes and of course I wasn't catching him. He finally slowed down and then the yelling began: "Come on Angela, what are you doing?! When I say get on my wheel, GET ON! There's friggin' [other words you can imagine] lightning all around us and you're not even trying!"
Let me tell you, I was trying. I was tired, ready to cry and wanting to just throw my bike off the side of the road.
"I am trying Chuckie! Just go! [f%&^! this!]!"
I felt awful, but yet I had to push. The storm was imminent.
He got me when he said, "Where is your eye of the tiger? You are just not in shape. You ride better than this. You are not trying!"
It was harsher than it reads.
Just imagine Chuckie angry, pissed at the world, and scared for his life. And now imagine yourself very tired, dead legs and angry at your coach. I was soooo mad. I really didn't care at this point about lightning, getting rained on or anything.
Worst yet, once I did get on his wheel, some schmuck we passed decided to race us and pass us back on a small hill. And, because of me, we couldn't catch him. Chuckie was not amused one bit. I didn't hear the end of this one until we were finally in the 'safe zone' from the T-storms brewing our way. Where and when this 'safe zone' appeared was beyond me, but we finally stopped this nonsense of crazy riding about 45 minutes from home. The pace just mellowed out...and finally, so did Chuckie.
I didn't speak; I didn't look at him. We were both mad. He wanted us to be safe and I was sucking wind. I didn't know he wanted me to go as hard as I could. Gosh, I was so mad at him...mad at the world..and really mad at myself because I am feeling out of shape. And the funny thing is, Chuckie was complaining at the beginning of the ride how I am going to ride away from him because he hasn't been riding. Bull$hit! Chuckie will always be able to ride away from anyone. Years of riding will allow that, I guess.
Seriously, this ride showed me a number of things:
1. I have a lot of work to do.
2. I am stressed, over-tired and drained.
3. I need to focus on my recovery
4. Figure out what Chuckie means when he tells me things....I swear, sometimes I just don't understand what he is trying to relay to me. I wasn't really thinking T-storms were upon us that badly. There seems to be a lot of this miscommunication while we're on our bikes. I need to work on this. I almost got us killed as well. I was eating a banana while in the aerobars and hit a pothole just as a car was coming. Chuckie was behind my wheel. Another anger session. I get more swells of tears on the bike then I do anywhere else.
5. I need to learn to pay more attention while riding - at the weather, learn Chuckie talk and read his mind (this I think may be a bit hard!) and where I am riding.
6. It is only after such hard efforts and crap that you put yourself through, that you feel better about yourself.
7. I really am needing to get in gear, I think. Why are my wattages so low!!!! I have lost a ton of power in the last month. Stress, I think.
After the stressful and crappy ride, I got some food in me and took a nap. A nap that was well - needed. I then headed out for my 3rd run since I broke my toe - slow 9min/miles with a total time of 21minutes. Slow and steady.
Today: Masters, but by myself in Chuckie's and Wolfgang's lane. Chuckie looked at my stroke and gave me more ideas to work on in the next couple of weeks. Later we headed out for an easy easy spin of 1hr 25min. I used the PowerCranks. These are crazy tough on the hip flexors. I think today I did more coasting than spinning. I am now headed out for a 25-minute run.
Later, Chuckie and I headed out on our bikes to Masonville and back. The plan was to get in 2hours at a high-end aerobic zone. I did this fine - although my power output is still significantly lower than what it was in California. (I hope this turns around!) We stopped to get some water and the clouds began churning and turning black. I was a bit in my own world and didn't realize that thunderstorms were ahead.
These were Chuckie's words: "I'll take us down this hill and then we'll start rolling again."
"OK," I thought. I am tired but I can do it.
"Rolling" usually means the same high-end aerobic HR and relatively evenly paced. We headed down the hill as planned. But once we got to a flatter area Chuckie starting rolling. Not my type of rolling - but rather his type. His type is what anyone else would call "oh, no!" I let him go because my HR was already jacked up and my legs were dead. In the distance, he kept pointing at his back wheel and I was getting frustrated.
"Whatever, I am going hard and feel like crap." I was trying to chase him for a solid 20-minutes and of course I wasn't catching him. He finally slowed down and then the yelling began: "Come on Angela, what are you doing?! When I say get on my wheel, GET ON! There's friggin' [other words you can imagine] lightning all around us and you're not even trying!"
Let me tell you, I was trying. I was tired, ready to cry and wanting to just throw my bike off the side of the road.
"I am trying Chuckie! Just go! [f%&^! this!]!"
I felt awful, but yet I had to push. The storm was imminent.
He got me when he said, "Where is your eye of the tiger? You are just not in shape. You ride better than this. You are not trying!"
It was harsher than it reads.
Just imagine Chuckie angry, pissed at the world, and scared for his life. And now imagine yourself very tired, dead legs and angry at your coach. I was soooo mad. I really didn't care at this point about lightning, getting rained on or anything.
Worst yet, once I did get on his wheel, some schmuck we passed decided to race us and pass us back on a small hill. And, because of me, we couldn't catch him. Chuckie was not amused one bit. I didn't hear the end of this one until we were finally in the 'safe zone' from the T-storms brewing our way. Where and when this 'safe zone' appeared was beyond me, but we finally stopped this nonsense of crazy riding about 45 minutes from home. The pace just mellowed out...and finally, so did Chuckie.
I didn't speak; I didn't look at him. We were both mad. He wanted us to be safe and I was sucking wind. I didn't know he wanted me to go as hard as I could. Gosh, I was so mad at him...mad at the world..and really mad at myself because I am feeling out of shape. And the funny thing is, Chuckie was complaining at the beginning of the ride how I am going to ride away from him because he hasn't been riding. Bull$hit! Chuckie will always be able to ride away from anyone. Years of riding will allow that, I guess.
Seriously, this ride showed me a number of things:
1. I have a lot of work to do.
2. I am stressed, over-tired and drained.
3. I need to focus on my recovery
4. Figure out what Chuckie means when he tells me things....I swear, sometimes I just don't understand what he is trying to relay to me. I wasn't really thinking T-storms were upon us that badly. There seems to be a lot of this miscommunication while we're on our bikes. I need to work on this. I almost got us killed as well. I was eating a banana while in the aerobars and hit a pothole just as a car was coming. Chuckie was behind my wheel. Another anger session. I get more swells of tears on the bike then I do anywhere else.
5. I need to learn to pay more attention while riding - at the weather, learn Chuckie talk and read his mind (this I think may be a bit hard!) and where I am riding.
6. It is only after such hard efforts and crap that you put yourself through, that you feel better about yourself.
7. I really am needing to get in gear, I think. Why are my wattages so low!!!! I have lost a ton of power in the last month. Stress, I think.
After the stressful and crappy ride, I got some food in me and took a nap. A nap that was well - needed. I then headed out for my 3rd run since I broke my toe - slow 9min/miles with a total time of 21minutes. Slow and steady.
Today: Masters, but by myself in Chuckie's and Wolfgang's lane. Chuckie looked at my stroke and gave me more ideas to work on in the next couple of weeks. Later we headed out for an easy easy spin of 1hr 25min. I used the PowerCranks. These are crazy tough on the hip flexors. I think today I did more coasting than spinning. I am now headed out for a 25-minute run.
2 comments:
Hang in there, Angela. You know you can do this, and you (and Chuckie, and all of us) know you can do this.
Your feeling a lot of stress and emotion, and you're "out of your comfort zone" in Colorado. It's new, unfamiliar, and at altitude. You're still looking to ground yourself for some kind of reference to base this off of.
Focus on training when training is on the plate. Outside of that, deal with the obstacles that life's throwing your way. Most of all, be patient with yourself, and allow your emotions to be exposed.
You'll get through this. And probably sooner than you think.
THanks cdnhollywood. I appreciate the support! You are right - focus on the training when training is on the plate!
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